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Figuring out how to navigate life as a Navy spouse and homeschool our three kids. Sometimes, at the end of the day, all I can manage to do is make pancakes for supper...

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Day The Dishwasher Attacked The Dog

This morning as I was feeding Madaline, Aiden and Emma were playing quietly upstairs. Or so I thought. A few minutes later I hear a door open and Emma's precious voice say, "Aiden cut my hair!" I could hear in her voice her very stance, tip-toed dancing around the hallway, arms flying, so proud of her new hair. Having done this to myself as a child I realized I had two courses of action, full blown freak out, or laugh. I decided to laugh. Aiden did a VERY thorough job, he even got the chunk right in the middle of her bangs. When I asked him where he got the idea to cut her hair, he responded, "In my head." We promptly loaded up and headed over to the Hair Cuttery in hopes of a cute little pixie cut. While it's BETTER it's not quite what I want so tomorrow we're really venture out of our box to a kids place on the south side of Jax.

Now, I know all of you are dying to know why this is titled about the dog and not Emma's haircut. As a result of being sick for few days the kitchen had reached epic proportions of ickiness. While the kids were eating, Daisy took up her usual licking of the dishes as I put them in the dishwasher. This is NOT something I encourage but I've gotten tired of yelling at her to stop. When Daisy was halfway through licking off the back of a plate, the dishwasher, pissed off by the constant harassment from a Labrador, struck. It violently lashed out and hooked the bottom rack through the ring on Daisy's collar. Then it proceeded to toss plates and bowls in her general direction all the while making a horrible clanking and rattling sound. Daisy, scared out of her ever loving mind attempted to shake the offensive appliance loose but was utterly unable to get traction on the tile. After several heart stopping seconds the
dishwasher released her from it's death grip and I did the only reasonable thing I could think of. I yelled at the top of my lungs, "GET OUT YOU STUPID DOG!!!!" Daisy hightailed it out, tail tucked. Spurred into action by all the commotion Aiden rocketed himself out of his chair to see what, precisely, was going on. Daisy scurried past him and he came over to inspect the scene of the mauling. Satisfied that things were put back in order, he looks at me and says, very politely, "Mom, stupid is not a nice word. We just don't say that, it's inappropriate." My heart racing, I bit my tongue against another retort. I apologized and got back to the dishes. Curious as to where Daisy had gone I looked over the partition into the living room. I finally spotted her, she was balled up on the couch with just her eyes showing over the arm staring in the kitchen. When when saw me looking at her, her eyes slowly sank below the arm of the couch and she disappeared from view. She's yet to go back near the kitchen, she just lies and stares, waiting for the dishwasher to climb out from under the counter and eat her. Whole. Is it really twisted that I wish I could hook her back to the rack so I could get it on video?

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