January 4th, Still No Resolutions

As I look at the last several months with no blog entries, no workouts logged and no pounds lost (a few gained back though) my inclination is to start over.  Start a new blog!  Start a new weight loss plan!  Get a new diet!!!  But then I'm falling back into "The Thing That Haunts Me", my feeling that no matter how hard I try, I can't finish what I start.  There are days that I feel like the only things I've seen through to the end are my pregnancies and I even tacked on a few extra days for good measure.  I hate feeling that way, I hate feeling like whatever I start is destined to never be completed.  It could be something small like a scrapbook or big like a home business, I have a plethora of excuses as to WHY I didn't finish something but the bottom line is that it only happens if and when, I quit.  There are a couple of things I've learned about myself in the past 32 years, wait for it, it's pretty profound. I need motivation and accountability.  Earth shattering, I know.  

As I look at this year ahead of me, a year that is only 4 days old, I kind of want to crawl back under my warm covers and come back out sometime next spring.  As a Navy family we're looking a year with a lot of separation, while we've had separations before, this will be the first LONG time apart that the kids will really be aware of.  I'm still trying to get to where I feel pretty good, the roller coaster of Hashimoto's has me constantly wondering how I'm going to feel any given day.  I'm facing major diet and lifestyle changes to help me feel my best and keep the extreme swings of Hashi's under control.  My three munchkins are always busy and each precious and challenging in their own special ways right now.  I could continue but much of what I deal with are the day to day requirements of a stay at home mom, the laundry that I swear reproduces in the hamper and dishes that are always in some state of being washed.  I just want out of the fog that so often seems to settle in my head.  I want to have sharp clear thoughts that I can get down and have people appreciate what I have to share, it's far to easy for me to fall into the trap of feeling like I have nothing to contribute.  

So where do I go from here?  My goal for my day is to set some long and short terms goals and then make my plan on how to get there.  I'm going to try and keep it as simple and attainable as possible.  Maybe for starters, I should get out of my pj's...

Seemed Appropriate

I haven't blogged in awhile but since we had pancakes for supper tonight it seemed like an opportune time to "get back on the horse" so to speak. My life has been full of getting my man child off to school, adjusting to gluten free living and starting a home business!  In my free time (the oodles of it that I have) I'm still running/walking and trying not to melt in this heat.  I feel like it's been hot since February and there is no end in sight.  I would love a cool Pacific Grove morning with a latte in hand chatting with friends at Caledonia Park.  Oh California how I miss thee!!!

Okay, so tonight was pancakes for supper. The fridge is all but empty and I wanted something easy that everyone (hopefully) would eat. It was actually my first go at gluten free pancakes and with the help of some Bob's Red Mill Gluten Free Pancake Mix I whipped up a batch. After a major bread debacle that involved throwing two loaves of utterly inedible bread in the trash and a nearly as unpleasant birthday cake for my wee baby's first birthday I was a little skeptical that 1) the pancakes would be good 2) that my kids would eat them. Not only did my kids eat them, they LOVED them.  My 3 year old ate four decent sized pancakes and I, in my desperation for normal tasting baked goods, ate well, more than I should have.  BUT THEY WERE SO STINKING YUMMY!  I doused mine in organic butter from grass fed cows and molasses and was in heaven.  All that was lacking was an icy cold glass of milk but I can't really do dairy and I just couldn't stomach the almond milk.

My other news of note is that I'm working as an Independent Consultant for Arbonne International. Arbonne has AMAZING skin care, make-up, and health and wellness products the vast majority of which are gluten free. I've had a fantastic opening month and I'm really excited to have a vision for myself and our family.  Not only do I adore the skin care products but I've been using their health products to support my weight loss journey (31 lbs total lost so far!) Check out my website!

The kiddos are good.  We just celebrated our youngest turning one! This past year has been long in many ways but it seems like just yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital.  The eldest is in school now, with the Hashimoto's and my husbands crazy work schedule coming up it was just too much to homeschool him and give it the focus needed to feel like he was getting what he needed. He's really enjoying being in a classroom and having other kids to play with, he bickers with his sister somewhat less than usual now...  Our days are settling into a good routine and it's been good to get more one on one time with the middle child. She tends to be, shall we say, somewhat strong willed and I think her getting more dedicated time with me is helping her immensely.  

As everything is leveling out I plan to get back to blogging again on a more regular basis.  But anyway, I'm back! 

Home Again

Well, we're home after an amazing 9 days with my in-laws in Augusta, GA.  I'm sitting here enjoying my first green drink in over a week and it's OH SO GOOD!!  Nothing like starting the day with coffee and what amounts to an entire bag of fresh spinach and a variety of fruits.  Yum!

It was great to do some running with my husband.  He was very encouraging and knew how to push me past what I thought I could do.  There were a couple of fantastic spots we enjoyed while we were in Augusta.  The Greeneway Trail (as seen in the picture) in North Augusta was really nice.  Even with the heat the trail is through a tunnel of trees and the shade was very pleasant to run through.  We also had a fun family run/bike ride at the trail between the Augusta Canal and the Savannah River.  Lots of wildlife and beautiful scenery, it was a good break not running on pavement for once too.

One of the best parts was getting to go out without the kiddos for dinners in which I didn't have to feed a baby, answer a million questions, and cut up and or share my food with a small child.  We went out more in 9 days then in the past year and it was fun to sample some new places in Augusta and go back to some of our favorites.  I really loved the Rooster's Beak.  The gourmet tacos were delicious and the unique flavors made for a memorable dining experience.

My weight loss journey is still having ups and downs.  Last weigh in I was down to 212, that's 24 lbs lost!!!  The goal for the week is to finally set a solid routine and get back to my more careful eating plan.  Gotta register for that 5 K, less than a month to go!

Okay, I need to go chase down Smallest of All.  Having a mobile baby makes life ever so much more interesting than it was before! (Like I need more excitement!)

Quick Update

I was looking at some old pictures and this is from last summer.  I miss my sweet girls long hair and pigtails!

The last couple of weeks have been busy as usual.  I've had a lot more ups and downs as far as my mood goes so my doctor upped my medication.  We'll see how it goes, I was totally wiped out yesterday but that could be from any number of things.

Smallest of All is mobile, I can't believe she's 9 months old!  She'll get up on all fours and rock and she is a pro at low crawling like a soldier avoiding enemy fire.  The middle child turned 3 about 10 days ago, I cannot believe how time is flying by.

I've hit a weight loss plateau.  At my weigh in last Saturday I hadn't lost any that week and the week before I only lost half a pound.  I need to reevaluate my plan and start consistently adding in strength training to the cardio work outs.

There is a lot going on in my head about how I think I want to organize and keep up with my blog.  I really want to see this journey through to its end and be an encouragement to all the other crazy busy mommies out there.  Somehow I want to figure out how to have tabs so I can have section for weight loss, parenting, homeschooling, etc...

Gotta get my little screamer down for a nap.  She keeps going for the dog's bone and the dog keeps following her around looking for spit-up...

Worth A Thousand Words

Yesterday evening marked the end of what was, all told, about two months of my sweet husband being gone.  In the scheme of military separations 2 months isn't bad, but it is just long enough to really feel like a long time.  He got off the ship a little later than planned so I had a chance to shower (YAY!) and then the kids enjoyed a "picnic" in the car on the way to base.  After a lovely evening walk on the beach to search for treasures we got to go get daddy.  The kids were so sweet seeing him, especially Emma.  All the way home she was asking things like, "Daddy, are you just going to come to my house to play with me?"  "Are you going to stay at my house for a little bit?"  Once we were home Aiden got to show off his mad reading skills and Madaline just smiled and said, "Da Da Da Da Da Da!" Over and over and over....  Can't wait for two whole days with him this weekend!

(I apologize for the lousy quality of these pictures, my phone's camera stinks.  I also apologize for the weird layout, the baby is crying and I gotta finish this up!)

My Hard Work Is Paying Off

I know for me it's easy to get tunnel vision about my day to day life.  Getting wrapped up in the bickering and fighting and the constant whining can feel overwhelming and make me feel like I'm raising a litter of honey badgers not children.  And then we get thrown little bits that make it all worth while.  While the cleaning ladies were here yesterday we went to Cracker Barrel for lunch.  As we were enjoying our meal an elderly couple sat next to us and Madaline proceeded to charm the socks off of them.  All of the kids were displaying a rare feat of excellent behavior and exemplary manners.  Emma looked like she was ready to climb to the man's lap and give him her best Emma hug and Aiden was smiling indulgently at his sisters.  We had some small talk about how old the kids are and how many kids they had (who are now all grown) and as we were getting ready to leave the lady told me what a happy family we were.  She said it was so nice to see kids with such lovely smiles, just like their mom's, and that they were so well behaved and pleasant to sit next too.  The gentleman was so charmed by Emma he told her if we didn't leave soon he'd have to keep her.  For once, instead of making a comment about how this was a rare moment of calm, I just said, "Thank you!"  It was lovely to have someone notice and comment on the good, not just say, "Boy you sure have your hands full!"  As we walking out she said again how happy we all looked and I said, "Well, we have so much to be thankful for and happy about."

My Crazy Weekend

I'm finally enjoying a moment with all the kids sleeping and the poor dog quiet in her crate.  I had her out for awhile and the neurotic pacing was getting to me.  I'm thinking she's just uncomfortable and wants to be confined so she can rest.  Here are some pictures of her leg wound, don't look if you get all weird at stitches and stuff.  I'm telling people this happened while she was frolicking with another dog, she'd be embarrassed if I told everyone it was really the skink/Godzilla getting the best of her...

Here is pathetic Daisy with spooky green eyes.

Nasty cut.

Closer view of nasty cut.

Now moving on from gross out wound pictures I had a couple of parenting successes today.  I'll go ahead and brag about them so that when everything goes to crap tomorrow I'll know why. (insert cutsie winking face)  My sweet almost three year old LOVES her pacifiers.  She also loves to drink, "milk in a glass" (baby bottle) and she drags around Grandma Bear something so loved that the cleaning lady asked if it was a dog toy today.  (Emma was incensed and put that lady in her place by the way.)  The time to give up these things has long passed and I just really haven't felt like going through the process of her going through pacifier and bottle withdrawals.  Today was the day to begin the process and after having milk in her bottle this morning we packed them up in a box and she said goodbye.  The new rule is milk at meals, up to this point she has refused milk in anything but a bottle and that didn't change this evening but there wasn't a fit at bedtime when I told her no more bottles.  Score one for Mommy!  The pacifier is going to be trickier.  We gathered them up and put them in a bowl this morning with the promise that she could have them back tonight at bedtime.  Other than a meltdown around 4 she did really well.  After a few minutes of the freak out I told her we would set the timer for 5 minutes and she could haver her passi until it beeped.  She wasn't thrilled to give it up but she did and the rest of the evening went really well.  Score two for Mommy!  Tomorrow I'm going to have her cut the one off her car seat buckle.

In my adventures making baby food I made absolutely nasty summer squash which Madaline quite literally spat out at me.  (I can't blame her, it tasted like bitter grits.)  She LOVED the mashed mango and bananas that she got instead and tonight the butternut squash was a huge hit.

As busy as this weekend was it had been a couple of days since I'd checked on my garden and I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw!  I'm looking forward to enjoying these veggies soon!

Cute little banana pepper!

Cherry tomatoes.

Not cherry tomatoes.

Itty bitty green beans.

Wax beans, they're almost ready!

Aww, it's just a baby squash!

And last but not least, after this crazy weekend and a pretty good but long day I just didn't want to fight with kids eating their supper.  I did the only reasonable thing, I made pancakes.  And boy, were they ever good.

Misc Pictures

Radishes from our garden! Lots of things have buds but this is our first harvest.

They're super peppery but GOOD!

Hunting Easter Eggs!

Breakfast!

Best. Honey. EVER.

Weekly Weigh In 4/16/11 and Other Misc. News

This week has been busy but good, my mother-in-law was here for a few days and I got to take TWO naps! I also go to get lunch with one of my closest friends and I had the pleasure of introducing her to sushi. It agreed with her and we're hoping to make it a regular thing.

Part of my eating plan has been to have a fruit smoothie in the mornings with a scoop of protein powder in it for breakfast. The blender I had was one I'd gotten almost 8 years ago at the exchange for about $20. All things considered it's gotten the job done and been a good blender with the daily use though it started to make weird sounds and would speed up and slow down on whenever it felt like it when in use. After some research and talking to a couple of friends I decided to get a Vitamix. Among this blender's claims to fame is that you can make ice cream in it in about 15 seconds. While I was doing my research I started reading up on green drinks and I'm now on day 3 of a green smoothie challenge. Each day I'm drinking 2 quarts of green smoothies. They are various combinations of water, fruit and greens like spinach or lettuce. For the most part I've been pleasantly surprised that they're not nasty. I am figuring out what method is easiest for me in my crazy life and actually enjoying drinking huge quantities of spinach, lettuce, and kale each day. This lovely machine is what makes it all possible. :)

This past week I took off from the Couch to 5 K training because I'd aggravated my knee and was giving it a break. I plan on resuming starting back with week one on Monday and seeing how it goes. Even with taking a break I weighed in this morning (I've changed my weigh in day to Saturday) and I've lost 3 more pounds! That's a total of 15 lbs in four weeks! So I'm down to 221. I'm hoping all the green drinks help these next 22 lbs melt off so I can get under the 200 mark! In the competition with Dad we're now tied again at 6 lbs each, we'll see who takes the edge this coming week!

Other things of note this week include Madaline getting 2 more teeth for grand total thus far of 7 chompers. She's enjoying the great wide world of baby food and is loving yogurt, carrots, and mixtures of applesauce and carrots and the current favorite of beets and carrots. I just have to strip her down to her diaper when she eats it to avoid bright pink stains on all her clothes.

The farmer's market was fun this week. We got some grass fed beef, tomatoes, yellow squash, honey, bread, orange juice, salad, fresh mozzarella and we were bummed that the guy who sells eggs was out. Apparently they got dropped, literally, he's saving me some next week though.

Emma has transitioned from her tricycle to Aiden's old bike with training wheels and Aiden is reading like crazy. Not just little sight word books but EVERYTHING he sees he's reading. It's amazing and exciting to watch. He will now come up to me and throw facts at me that he's getting out of his school books on his own. Last night he was explaining how when undersea volcanoes erupt the magma cools making new rock and that's what pushes the old rock up to make undersea mountains or when they're big enough, islands.

On Tuesday I had a cleaning service come and clean the house so it's been wonderful having a nice clean house this week with everything in order. It's so much easier to maintain when it's all clean all at once.

The big bummer of the week, last year we got swarmed with thousands of caterpillars/tent worms creeping out of the woods and all over the house. They're back, and they're gross. I hope they don't eat my garden.

Gonna go drink some kale now....

The Wagon and How to Fall Off

Okay, so TECHNICALLY I didn't fall off the wagon. I give myself an "off" day each week to eat as I please. Wanna know what happens when you drink a bunch of wine and eat fried seafood after being super strict for two weeks? You feel like crap. I didn't sleep well, I had a headache, I felt slow and puffy, and boy did I ever have to guzzle Diet Coke to get myself going. I think my next day "off" will consist of shrimp salad on a croissant again, that agreed with me a lot more than all the fried stuff.

Other than my epic fall on my free day I had a good week. I completed all my training runs and I was feeling great. I actually started to feel thinner even if I still looked like an Easter egg in some pictures from this weekend. We went on a walk on the beach and I actually played tag with my kids, two weeks ago I would have told them that I don't run. It was great to have Daniel around for a couple of days before he's gone again for awhile and we enjoyed lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, Ted's Montana Grill.

At the end of our first week of weight loss competition Dad and I tied with a weight loss of 2 pounds each. Gotta kick it up a notch this week and I'll really be hitting it hard this month, gotta be looking good for the hubby when he's back around!

At lunch on Saturday Emma cracked me up with a conversation that went something like this:

"I don't like that big doat." (goat)

"What goat?"

"THAT doat!" (points to a bison head mounted on the wall)

"OH, honey that's not a goat. That's a bison."

"A bison?"

"Yes, a bison."

"It ran into the wall?"

"Sort of."

"They chopped off it's head?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay. I just don't like that doat."

Gotta love talking in circles...

Oh, Emma!

I have had a very challenging few days. Emma has been pushing the limits and basically trying to run roughshod all over anyone or anything in her path. She can be sweet to the point of bringing tears to my eyes and so difficult I actually have to send us to separate rooms to regroup. I spend half the day with my heart breaking for her because she is the least capable of us to cope with all the changes that Navy life brings, with Daddy being gone so much, with a new baby usurping her role and a big brother telling her what to do. The other half of the day (or 9/10 of it) I spend wishing Swiss boarding schools took almost 3 year olds. This stage is temporary and I don't want to overlook the sweet moments an miss out on her being a little girl, I just wish I had some magic answer to fix it. Trying to think of a solution and staying consistent is exhausting. Aiden, even at his most challenging, was always much quicker to comply and it's hard not to compare them, sometimes I beat my head against a wall trying to make something that worked for him work for her. I know I need to have a plan, stay calm and stop letting the kids know they have the ability to get me worked up. Gotta work on my poker face.

As a side note, Daisy is still VERY VERY nervous about the dishwasher. If it's open and she comes in the kitchen she will stop and back slowly out keeping her eye on it constantly. I would too with a dishwasher that looks like this:

Weigh in tomorrow, wish me luck!

Dog Poop In A Tree

About 2 months ago I was outside with the kids picking up after the dog. Being a typical 5 year old, Aiden took it upon himself to try and fling one of the tied up bags of poop over the fence. I didn't actually witness said flinging I just got the:

"Uh, Mom?"

"What Aiden."

"Well, ummm."

"Aiden, what is it???"

"Yeah, there's dog poop in the tree."

And lo and behold there, three fourths of the way up the oak tree in our back yard, was a bag of dog poop. After a brief moment of disbelief I started laughing, and I mean the cross your legs so you don't pee laugh. This was about a week after I had starting taking Zoloft and it was the first time I'd laughed that hard in ages. I'm sure all of you are wondering what happened then. Not being all that heroic, I simply decided to leave it there, I was fairly certain that the next strong wind would bring it down. It didn't. Several rain storms, windy days and approximately 2 months later my husband looked out the window and said:

"Why is there a bag in the tree?"

"It's the dog poop."

"You didn't get that out!!!!!!?????"

"Nope, it was way high up there."

"What about the BB gun?"

"Go ahead."

So he and Aiden headed out for the man job of shooting the dog poop down. After several hits it remained stubbornly clinging to the branch and Aiden came in to finish his supper, it's hard to believe a single bag of poop had withstood such harassment from the elements and now a small caliber weapon to remain aloft for so long. The following day, yesterday, Aiden was out in the yard for awhile with the dog playing sharpshooter or something along those lines. After about 2o minutes he came in and very calmly said:

"The dog poop fell out of the tree."

"It did??? What did you do with it."

"I flung it over the fence, and I got it WAY BACK THERE this time."