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Figuring out how to navigate life as a Navy spouse and homeschool our three kids. Sometimes, at the end of the day, all I can manage to do is make pancakes for supper...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

January 4th, Still No Resolutions

As I look at the last several months with no blog entries, no workouts logged and no pounds lost (a few gained back though) my inclination is to start over.  Start a new blog!  Start a new weight loss plan!  Get a new diet!!!  But then I'm falling back into "The Thing That Haunts Me", my feeling that no matter how hard I try, I can't finish what I start.  There are days that I feel like the only things I've seen through to the end are my pregnancies and I even tacked on a few extra days for good measure.  I hate feeling that way, I hate feeling like whatever I start is destined to never be completed.  It could be something small like a scrapbook or big like a home business, I have a plethora of excuses as to WHY I didn't finish something but the bottom line is that it only happens if and when, I quit.  There are a couple of things I've learned about myself in the past 32 years, wait for it, it's pretty profound. I need motivation and accountability.  Earth shattering, I know.  

As I look at this year ahead of me, a year that is only 4 days old, I kind of want to crawl back under my warm covers and come back out sometime next spring.  As a Navy family we're looking a year with a lot of separation, while we've had separations before, this will be the first LONG time apart that the kids will really be aware of.  I'm still trying to get to where I feel pretty good, the roller coaster of Hashimoto's has me constantly wondering how I'm going to feel any given day.  I'm facing major diet and lifestyle changes to help me feel my best and keep the extreme swings of Hashi's under control.  My three munchkins are always busy and each precious and challenging in their own special ways right now.  I could continue but much of what I deal with are the day to day requirements of a stay at home mom, the laundry that I swear reproduces in the hamper and dishes that are always in some state of being washed.  I just want out of the fog that so often seems to settle in my head.  I want to have sharp clear thoughts that I can get down and have people appreciate what I have to share, it's far to easy for me to fall into the trap of feeling like I have nothing to contribute.  

So where do I go from here?  My goal for my day is to set some long and short terms goals and then make my plan on how to get there.  I'm going to try and keep it as simple and attainable as possible.  Maybe for starters, I should get out of my pj's...